Things you can say at the poker table but not your partner
Dad jokes and well-placed puns can be a fruitful endeavour when used at the right time. If you’re having a boys’ night at the poker table, the chances are pretty high that someone might let off some zingers in the heat of the moment. With terms like “I’m all in”, the irony is that poker sets the stage for plenty of cheeky gags and anecdotes that could involve relationships.
While in poker, “all in” refers to betting your entire balance on the hand you are currently playing, the amusing contrast may be seen as being an “overly devoted partner” to your better half. Players who are trying the table game for the first time may even use these silly retorts as a way to remember the rules and have a laugh in the process.
Aggressively styled players are known to go all in, even if their hand isn’t reflecting anything worthwhile. While this is one tactic you can use to win, it comes with the caveat that another player could call you on the bluff and possibly clean you out (lose your entire bankroll).
“Seems like a small ball tournament today”
We are going full swing into the next poker term known as “small ball”. This format indicates a low-risk game, where the player adopts a more conservative approach to betting. For a more quirky approach, one might say it’s akin to what would be considered “bedroom performance”. Having the word “small” is already bad enough as is.
To be more precise, this technique focuses on smaller pots, since they are safer and easier to get. It goes without saying that this doesn’t mean that it’s a sure way to win, since it still comes with risks. Poker users with a far larger bankroll pose one such risk and might force you to fold on more than one occasion. Don’t forget the basics, and you’ll have as fair a chance as any.
“I just was just involved in a hit and run”
The term “hit and run” is aptly named for some players who like to exit the poker table immediately after winning a big pot. Be careful while talking to the guys about your fantasy girl that you wouldn’t mind having a hit-and-run with. Your partner might intervene by walking in with a raised eyebrow and whacking you on the head with a flip-flop.
The actual event of cars doing a hit and run is also something that’s not exactly seen in the best light. With real money at stake, emotions and considerations should be thrown out the window. Valid plays shouldn’t define the way you handle poker games, as long as they’re legal.
While it won’t be accepted by all, there’s nothing wrong with leaving a poker game. Whether it’s part of a strategy or a stage where you simply had enough, doing so is still within the rules of the game. In fact, knowing when to stop and how to manage your bankroll is a skill that a good percentage of players still have trouble mastering.
“You’re bluffing”
Bluffing is a skill that’s carried amongst many card games; however, in the case of gambling, it’s most prominent in poker. It’s also considered an advanced skill that can be used as a form of psychological warfare when done right. If you’ve already been doing this to hide failed dinner experiments, we must digress that the risk is simply not worth it.
It’s best not to bluff in a relationship, and it’s certainly not fair to your partner. Better to leave this skill where it counts, especially when you consider nervous contenders that cannot help but make a shoddy-looking poker face. We say this since perfecting your bluff on the table can make even the weakest of hands seem practically untouchable.
“I’m holding nuts”
This next term might make you facepalm if you have never heard of it before. If you are “holding the nuts” in a game of poker, this means that you have an exceptionally good hand. For relationships, we are going to let your imagination take over for this one. Just make sure that a nutcracker won’t be involved, and hopefully you’ll be okay.
Having a strong hand is great, especially if you’ve been waiting long for one to come along. The biggest challenge now is playing it off as something meager and not threat-worthy. You might want to laugh or smile; however, you should withhold all urges to do so. You should try to stay as neutral as possible instead of giving off common cues, like scratching your head.
If you or someone at the table unknowingly coughs whenever a decent hand comes around, that’s a warning signal for all the other players that picked up on the habit. It’s the same reason why some prefer to wear sunglasses when playing.
“He/she had great quads”
Even the most sought-after hands, like a four-of-a-kind, are open to ambiguity when brought alongside relationships. The origins of the term have been derived from the Latin slang word for quadrangle, meaning four. Since words like “fire” can hold more than one definition, a quad can also refer to the front section of the thigh.
If your partner is playing and tells you to check the powerful quad she has, the only thing you should be kneeling down for is to tie your shoelaces. The four-of-a-kind is stronger than a full house but weaker than a straight flush and has the power to dominate most games. Don’t forget to mix up strategies so that your hands are less obvious as being good or bad.
“I just had a world-class suck out”
Some terms in poker test the boundaries of what could easily leave you with the residual warmth of a red handprint on your face. We say this because the next one we will be looking at is known as “a suck out”. For poker, it means getting the cards you needed to win against your opponent, since they initially had a stronger hand.
Whether it’s partially luck or skill, you’ll breathe a sigh of relief when it does happen. Even the most fearless gamblers wouldn’t push their luck by mentioning this peculiar term on a first date. If the next thing you’re feeling is a tingling sensation all over, that’s the bottle of champagne you ordered 10 minutes ago being dumped all over you.
“I know when to walk away”
We finish off with knowing when to walk away, a trait that might be hard to do if you have a lot of pride. Having pride is fine, but in front of countless losses, all you are left with is a downward spiral of regret. One moment that would soften the blow is walking in while your partner thinks he or she is alone, dancing by themselves.
The moment they see you and freeze, you can simply choose to smile and walk away. You can always laugh about it later; however, not doing the same when playing poker will only leave a sore reminder to do far better next time.
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