Vegas Got the Super Bowl Again, Because Apparently, We Can’t Get Enough of the Headache

So, guess what? Las Vegas is rolling out the red carpet for Super Bowl LXIII in 2029. That’s right, Super Bowl 63 for those of you who prefer actual numbers to fancy Roman numerals that probably give concussed football players a headache just looking at them.

Allegiant Stadium: Where Your Wallet Goes to Die

The “Big Game” will be gracing Allegiant Stadium, and let’s be real, unless your last name is Fertitta or Musk, you’re probably going to need to sell a kidney to afford a ticket. No disrespect, but it’s the Super Bowl, not a local bake sale.

The Hype Video: Because Las Vegas Loves to Talk About Itself

Naturally, the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority (LVCVA) went into full-on hype mode, complete with a video. They’re all giddy about hosting the Super Bowl again, especially after the last one in 2024.

“Football’s biggest game is heading back to Vegas. We’re excited to host Super Bowl LXIII in February 2029 at @AllegiantStadm. 🏈🎉#SuperBowlLXIII #SuperBowl #VegasSports”

Yeah, they’re pretty darn excited.

Does the Super Bowl Actually Help Vegas?

Here’s where things get a little murky. The LVCVA claims the 2024 Super Bowl brought in over 330,000 visitors and generated a cool billion dollars. But, and this is a big “but,” it’s a bit of a stretch. The Super Bowl has always been one of the busiest weekends in Vegas. It’s like EDC, but with more shoulder pads and less… well, less whatever EDC is about. Some folks argue that hosting the Super Bowl actually hurts the usual gambler crowd. Apparently, all the league and media folks descend upon the city, and shocker, they’re not exactly hitting the blackjack tables. It’s like inviting a bunch of tourists who just want to see the sights and not actually spend any real money. The LVCVA, bless their hearts, loves to tout these numbers, conveniently forgetting that most of those people would have come to Vegas anyway. It’s a classic move: take credit for something that would have happened regardless to justify your existence.

Raiders and Reporters Rejoice (Sort Of)

Our very own Raiders are reportedly “thrilled” to host whichever two teams manage to survive the playoffs. And you can bet your bottom dollar that every sports journalist in town will be droning on about Super Bowl LXIII until it’s practically a religious holiday. It’s like when it rains here – suddenly, local news has something exciting to report!

At Least It’s Not F1

Look, we’re not trying to yuck anyone’s yum. Vegas is thrilled to host the “Concussion Bowl” again. The good news? Unlike that F1 circus that shuts down the entire city for months, the Super Bowl is a quick hit. So, while we might not be personally attending, we appreciate that it doesn’t permanently disrupt traffic for four months straight. Small victories, people.